


i will fight for you if it meant i could see you smile

by hellodenihere



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Angst, Gore, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, actually nobody is, akira is not okay, happy #ryujiweek, rated m bc zombies, someone give him a hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:13:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25012972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hellodenihere/pseuds/hellodenihere
Summary: The world burns, humans are infested throughout the land with the plague of the undead. It’s fine. It was all fine. They were getting through it. Akira knew he had it all under control.Until Ryuji gets bitten.
Relationships: Amamiya Ren/Sakamoto Ryuji, Kurusu Akira/Sakamoto Ryuji, Persona 5 Protagonist/Sakamoto Ryuji
Comments: 11
Kudos: 39





	i will fight for you if it meant i could see you smile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> inspired by a tweet thread about a pegoryu zombie apocalypse.
> 
> fun fact!! this chapter was actually finished since last year but my brain went 'oop no u gotta revise it more' so i did. again and again. until here it is.

It’s been four days since Ryuji got bitten. 

And he’s going to turn, everyone ~~denies~~ knows it. They were hunting for food in the nearest grocery store available to stock up, the opportunity too risky to take but too good to ignore. Everything was going fine. Bags full and car loaded without a fuss, about to leave and ready to run when it gets them. An undead pops out from behind the car, ready to chomp a head off, _his_ head off. Ryuji was the first to react, grabbing for him immediately to hug him against his chest in protection as he kicked the zombie off to its knees. It doesn’t deter it in the slightest, instead grabbing at the blond’s left ankle and taking a hard _bite._

Ryuji screams so loud it rings throughout the entire parking lot. 

Ann shoots first. Double tap. Two shots in the face. But it’s too late for him. 

Akira panics, mind a mess and heart desperate to keep Ryuji _alive_ , he needs to do something, something _fast._ Air suddenly doesn’t come as easy as it should into his lungs, white noise all around getting louder, and _louder._ He takes Yusuke’s katana before the former artist could even react, and _cuts_ that piece of limb right off, smacking and slicing again and again with little hesitation and with all his might. Ryuji screams with every squelch, wailing in pain, and beneath it Akira thinks he hears his own heart breaking into pieces along with it. 

When all is done Akira’s face and clothes are covered in red, eyes bloodshot, and his whole body trembling. Ryuji took to biting into the top of his hand to avoid screaming any more, sights set on the damage that had to be done, seemingly seconds away from throwing up. Ann stares, and stares. Gun in her hands lowered.

It’s Yusuke who reacts first, unhesitating as he moves over to take the other teen’s arm, slinging it over his shoulder as he urges Akira to do the same on the opposite side, shoving the blond none too gently (with great, great guilt) into the backseat of the car. He picks up his bloodied katana after. Ann takes the wheel with trembling hands, and the rest is history.

It’s not good enough. It didn’t work. It was _supposed_ to work.

Now his best friend is chained and locked up in the basement of their current safehouse.

Makoto is waiting by the couch in the living room when he returns from his solo run as Ann comes back from the basement, fresh fallen tear tracks visible, face flushed, and eyes red and _glaring_ unto Akira’s very soul when she meets his eye. With air tight with tension and unspoken words, he simply walks past them towards the basement before a hand tugs into his sleeve. 

“Akira, he wants it to be yo-“

“I _know._ ” He doesn’t dare to look back at Makoto, all too motherly and rational and he hates it.

“Then where the hell have you been!” Ann yells, voice too broken to sound intimidating but too genuine to not shrink from. His shoulders hunch even lower. “He’s been asking for you all day! S-Saying things like.. he can’t go yet cause he’s ‘gotta see Akira one more time, _please bring him out guys I won’t hurt him i swear please-’_ ” At this point she’s barely able to keep it in, legs failing her as she breaks down onto the floor. Makoto lets him go in favor of comforting the other blonde while the girl mumbles “He’s been waiting for you,” over and over.

This is his fault.

He keeps his mouth shut, marches on to the door all too casually to be normal. He stops by the door before he says his piece.

“Get to the second floor with the other. I don’t want any of you to hear me shoot, _please._ ”

He lets the implications drop into the room and jogs down the stairs, not waiting to hear a rebuttal about how Akechi gave him the silencer for this _very specific_ scenario. Even in this predicament he knows that they’ll listen to him and go, whether it be out of respect for his feelings or out of loyalty he doesn't even know anymore.

It’s a little funny to think about sometimes, about how he’s come to the role of playing leader when a student council president, a prince detective, and even an heiress as their upperclassmen are part of their little group. He should’ve passed it to one of them when they came along, any of them. Keep his head down and follow along instead of being in charge of keeping everyone alive, don’t cause any more trouble than he already has. Don’t let anybody down.

After all, it was his idea to go back in the first place.

They deserve better than this, better than _him._ A kid on probation before all this, too full of anxiety and a little too daring, trying to lead this group of high schoolers. No wonder everything’s been going to shit all too fast. How could they even put an ounce of trust in him after all the things he’s messed up. For what he had caused back then and now to-

_Ryuji._

He’s sitting atop a wooden chair, hands cuffed at the back and leg tied into its stool. His other leg, or what’s left of it, covered with bandages hanging aimlessly. In a foolish hope for survival there’s already a prosthetic wooden foot waiting to be worn by the table. There’s a sick sort of humor lying in there somewhere, something about tracks stars with a broken right leg and a cut off left calf and foot. A collar is hugging at his neck with its chain attached to the pipe behind it. It sickens him to his core that they even agreed, albeit begrudgingly, to tie him up this morning, when he’s already having a hard time to even move right but-

They all knew it was already too late.

Even in the dim light it’s clear to see the pale complexion he’s gone from the day before. Even paler than him or Yusuke at this point. His head is hung low, showing off the start of dark roots that he’s made the effort to bleach a month ago.

_“You don’t gotta make fun of me for it!” He swats a hand away at Ann._

_”‘s just, it feels like if my hair’s still bleached, it’s like all this shit didn’t happen so long ago!”_

Akira sets down his bag beside Ryuji’s on the table by the entrance. He walks towards him, eyes trailing all over the blonde’s form. 

Akira rests his hands atop his best friend’s shoulders for a moment. Then, he reaches his thumbs out in an effort to massage the area where Ryuji’s neck meets his shoulders in hopes of easing the pain he’s feeling, even a little, before dragging it upwards below his ears, causing the other boy to face upwards.

He sighs in relief, and at the same time his heart clenches at the sight. Ryuji’s still with him. Still here and _alive._ Eyes droopy, taking deep shallow breaths, and sweat trailing down his forehead but _alive._ By the time he recognizes Akira the teen perks up _immediately_ , a warm smile passing off his lips, eyes crinkling in that endearing sort of way.

“Akira,” he whispers out, voice soft as velvet. He swallows the lump in his throat, seeming to have trouble in staying awake as he continues, “You’re _here.”_ Somehow, the way Ryuji says it makes it seem like he’s the one who’s seen a ghost, almost like he didn’t expect to see him anymore.

Akira strains in the effort to smile back. He can do this.

“Hi Ryuji, sorry I took so long.”

“’s fine,” He beams. Inhale, exhale. Inhale, “Just glad to see ya, man.” At the end of his words he coughs out, splotches of blood dripping down his lap. Akira’s hands start to tremble. God, _get a grip Akira._ He’s supposed to be the strong one here. Because when Ryuji looks back at him his eyes are wide with fear, head shaking to try to make him let go from holding onto his cheeks. He needs to be strong.

“A-Akira. Listen to me-“ The cuffs rattle when he moves, seeming to forget for a moment that he’s detained, opting instead to look at him straight in the eye, dead and serious. “…Meeting ya ‘s been the best thing that’s happened in my life, especially after, _after-_ “ Akira nods to make sure it gets across that he understands exactly what he means. He’s already having trouble in getting out as many words as he can. “..and since then I always felt like the place I belonged to was right by your side, but please-“ he wheezes out, “please don’t blame yourself man for this one, man. You’re.. you’re too important to lose. Everyone needs you too much and.. I-I’m sorry I can’t be there anymore. I’m so sorry I can’t be there to protect your back anymore. Akira listen, dude, I am.. so _sorry_ for this. I’m so _sorry._ ” There are already tears watering down his eyes, but Akira doesn’t notice that he’s crying too until his vision blurs out, glasses foggy against the sight of blond hair as he knocks their foreheads together.

“Ryuji it’s-it’s not your fault, it’s mi-“

“No man, it’s not okay? Please, let me _finish-_ ” Ryuji cuts him off, face leaning towards the palm of his hand until it cradles the side of his cheek. “I-If you ever pass by my place, can you leave some flowers for my mom or somethin’? Just by the side of it, just. Just tell her that whether I’d be in heaven or hell or wherever that I’m still gonna be alright yeah? I-I know it’s stupid to talk to the dead when I’m gonna be.. d-dead soon but, can you?”

Akira can’t do this, he can’t do this, he doesn’t want to do goodbyes. His breath is too shaky to even speak anyway, so instead he nods and nods again and again, eyes shut closed, hoping that Ryuji _knows_ that he’ll definitely do it. He won’t let him down. He doesn’t see it but he can just _hear_ the smile in the other teen’s voice as he speaks, “O-Okay, good.” He heaves for a breath, “Y-You can shoot me now. I.. I think I’m ready.”

And then his head shoots up, knocking against Akira’s away along with it, facing towards the ceiling, the chain to his collar jingling as it gets pulled, but still held in place. A low growl completely inhuman comes out.

They lock eyes. Ryuji’s lips start to tremble as he cries harder. 

“Akira.. Akira, do it _now._ ”

Akira gets up, moving on autopilot. He rummages through his bag, pulling out a gun and something else, leaving it there for later. The silencer is already put on. He brings it up against the blonde’s forehead who is unblinking and staring at death right in the eye with unflinching determination across his features.

Akira can’t do this. He can’t. He can’t he can’t he _can’t._

_He waits. Ryuji’s seemed to have calmed down a bit from… whatever _that_ was for now._

Hands trembling and eyes still streaked with tears, Akira speaks into the silence, voice way too low for comfort. “....Any last words?”

Ryuji blinks, and then his head snaps up _again_ to stare at him as the back of his neck hits into the chair behind him.

In the end, a blossom of weak laughter erupts out of him.

“What the hell, man?” Ryuji laughs, “Weren’t you listening?”

There’s a swell in his chest basking at the laughter he managed to cause for the blonde despite the situation, pride and love and too much emotion for him to handle. The tension is still there on his shoulders, eyes still shining and streaming down with tears but still. Ryuji still manages to give out that same warm smile, and his heart sinks lower at the thought that he won’t see it ever again for a long time.

But then Ryuji is starting to growl, fangs baring out as he grinds his teeth. _“Akira.”_

Time, he needs more time. The blonde nudges at the end of the barrel, eyes begging at him to shoot. He can’t. He won’t. Not yet. Not ever. _“Akira, please.”_

Akira stalls, but he can’t think of anything to say. He’s never been one much for words, and he never seems to form the right ones at the right time just fast enough before it’s too late, and right now his head is a complete blank from all the things he wants to say and he hates, hates, _hates_ it.

 _“Ryuji,”_ he exhales, “I love you. I love you so much.” His heart is pounding, at what he’s said, at what’s happening, at Ryuji’s awe-struck face.

Tears are still starting to form at the corner of his eyes again, biting hard into his lip, limbs erratic and head tossing side to side in his chair as he fights against the turn, not realizing what Akira is scheming from his mind getting clouded with the hunger and need to _eat eat eat._

But even still he fights and _fights_ to form the words back, “I-I love you too, Akira.”

Somehow, there’s relief flooding in the bottom of his heart along with the ongoing trepidation and hopelessness at hearing those words from his confession. Akira presses the heel of his hand to wipe at his eyes.

 _“God,”_ Akira smiles, voice raspy. “I’ll miss you so _much._ ” Ryuji lets out another small laugh as he cries. Then, all too suddenly he snaps his head back, eyes rolling at the back of his head. The chains against his collar and hands shake and rattle and rattle until he-

stops moving.

Akira holds his breath.

“Ryuji?”

Slowly, Ryuji(?) raises his head and his stomach drops. 

Eyes distanced and blank, a quiet growl emitting from him. When he sees Akira his nose sniffs, making a confused sound at not being able to free himself from the chains and rope, teeth grasping at the air as he tries to escape, to get to him, to eat him. Doesn’t react any differently when Akira’s knees give out into the floor, doesn’t make any sort of familiar expression or move as he only growls louder. He’s gone. Ryuji’s _gone._

Of course, of course he is. He’s been expecting this. Everyone’s been expecting this. Ryuji knew it was gonna happen. But the fact doesn’t change the shock when it finally happens. Akira is trying to regulate his breathing, trying to get himself together as he hits at his hand with a closed fist in a choked sob. For a moment he stares at the gun held in his hand and considers the other option.

Both him and Ryuji, just two shots.

Minutes pass.

He brings the gun up to his head.

Ryuji keeps growling, reaching for him.

Forefinger hovering just above the trigger.

Just one click.

He darts the gun back to the blond boy.

He remembers the way he smiled. The way he cried. The way his eyes lit up.

His breathing gets more shallow by the second.

This isn’t fair.

…

Akira drops the gun.

Seconds pass.

Okay, okay, _okay. _He can do this.__

____

____

The living stands up to his feet, movements almost robotic as he takes something from his bag. A muzzle. It’s _fine._ With a quiet stare he strolls toward undead Ryuji with it and the bag, only spurring the other one on wilder. But he doesn’t hesitate, doesn’t flinch anymore as the other boy tries to take a bite, puts the muzzle at the back of his neck and upfront with precision and makes sure it doesn’t come off while he struggles against it.

Next.

He goes back to the table, taking the prosthetic leg he’s requested from Iwai the day before. He always did wonder why the man never took them up on their offer to travel with them, but now he kinda gets it. He has his own kid to keep alive, let a group of kids he barely knows. Their hiding spot near enough to their last one for Akira to manage to find them.

He sits down when he comes back to the blond this time, taking his time to fumble with his bag and find the tools he needs. He works quietly, mechanically. Sniffing his nose and holding down his hiccups from time to time. Work on what’s in front of you. Keep Ryuji still enough to fasten it on. Make sure it’s strong and sturdy enough to not come off. Some trial and error, hoping with everything he’s got that this would fit right and….. there.

Now, take the chain tying Ryuji’s leg into the stool off, coming up to move his hands at the back over to make him stand up without removing the cuffs. The blonde takes another try at a bite but he’s too slow against Akira. It’s too easy. For safety measure he takes two mittens from his bag and ties it into the hands at the teen’s back with duct tape to avoid any chance of getting scratched. Lastly, he unties the chain against the pipe tied to the collar and holds it in his hand.

Akira gives a pull at the chain of his collar.

Ryuji stumbles on the one good leg and prosthetic leg that he has but he follows with a step. It’s.. not perfect, but it’s good enough to fit right. He’ll have to learn to make a better one soon.

Akira smiles, wipes into his face to get rid of any lasting tear. He comes forward, looks at Ryuji, dazed and glaring Ryuji, gives the other boy a tight hug. The blond doesn’t hug back. But it’s okay, he’s safe. It’s okay. Ryuji’s gonna be okay. That’s all that matters. He’s going to do this.

He sighs into the crook of his neck.

“Let’s get out of here?”

Ryuji only growls, teeth snapping shut at the air in the trap, but Akira pays it no mind.

He takes his bag and Ryuji’s, wearing the both of it for now, gun in his other hand.

He tugs at the collar again, Ryuji follows him out.

When they reach towards the living room no one is there. Good. He leaves the gun and its silencer by the coffee table along with a handwritten note. He ignores the stab of guilt.

When they’re out in the open he gives the house one last long look, hoping that atleast their other friends will be okay. It’s fine. It’s fine. They’ll be okay. They’ve been working hard to make sure this move was going to be permanent this time. It’s a good miles away from the city, Haru’s been teaching them all how to garden. It’s fine. That stock run was supposed to be the last one. They don’t need him anymore. It’s fine. Right now, Ryuji needs him more than anyone else. He already knows this is stupid, and maybe a little bit insane, but that’s fine. That’s why he’s leaving. No other unnecessary casualties from this. They’ll be okay. They’ll keep each other safe. What Akira needs to do now is to keep Ryuji safe. Ryuji will have Akira. The supplies they’ve raided is enough to last them for a long while, with canned goods and seeds and fertilizers, even with the small portion that Akira took. It’s okay. Haru will take care of it. Makoto and Akechi will lead. They’ll be safe. They’re better off without him.

“Wanna say goodbye, Ryuji?” he tries out. It feels wrong. But he’s made up his mind to keep on at this.

Ryuji growls back, leaning against him with his head tucked into his shoulder to try to get a bite.

He sighs, heart clenching at the thought that he’ll get used to that one day.

“Alright, let’s go.”

They venture into the twilight, the stars hidden among the skies to barely guide them. In another world at this time, maybe they would be laying on the ground, head on the other’s chest, arm over the other’s shoulder, as they try to make out the names of the constellations they recognize passing through, laughing together without a care in the world. But that world doesn’t belong to them. Instead, with borrowed precious time, Akira will get the best out of this one for them, together.

Side by side until the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why did i post this for #ryujiweek
> 
> ryuji im so sorry i love u (i wrote another fic and it's coming up on his bday so yeah!! look forward to that ig?)
> 
> oh god i went and posted a multi-chap fic. pls be patient with me. i love these boys so much.


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